Life on a ledge.

There is this conference I want to attend in Nashville. It’s 6 hours away. I’ve got all sorts of anxiety over driving the 6 hours there, attending it solo, and eating out by myself?! Forget about it.

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Then I look at this 20ish year old version of me. She was so cool. (Hair choices, debatable.) She was on a road trip from Seattle to South Florida. She climbed up on this ledge overlooking coastal Oregon—without a care in the world. I laugh when I think about 34 year old me, in that same spot, with my family. I probably wouldn’t let my girls get out of the car and if I did there would be a death grip on their hands. Hubs would try to do something reckless like balance on one leg on top of it, just to make my stomach turn and I’d have to look away. Things. have. changed.

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This season of life is so different than that one. I don’t long to be that girl anymore. But a lot of her passions got buried along the journey. And I do miss those. What happened? It wasn’t intentional. I don’t even think it was conscious. I read today that it is normal for a woman to shut down her heart in an effort to make life hurt less. Did I do that? Have you?

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This same book offered a list of God given longings of the human heart. I’ll list them below. Some of them jumped out for me. I felt a stirring. Others I brushed off as weird, or not applicable. Is this reaction a product of my shut down heart?

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The longing to be loved. The longing for enjoyment. The longing to be beautiful. The longing to be great. The longing to be passionate. The longing to make a deep and lasting impact.

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Which of these jump out for you? Which of these bring up feelings of silliness or shame? (Pro tip: read over them, and again, and again.)

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Can you identify a passion or longing you’ve allowed to go numb? Is there a dream living in the depths of your heart buried by life and self sabotage?

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Would you believe God wants us to have a significant life? Any chance you want to go here with me today and think about this further?

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