Big booty Mommy.

Yesterday Jovie recognized that, “my butt is bigger than other moms”. And when I gave her the PC answer that we all come in different shapes and sizes, she replied “Oh and some people have fat bodies like you?”
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Did she pick that up from me? Or her own observation? Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I can’t buy into the lie any more than I have time to “fix” my bad habits because time is up. They are already watching and learning.
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Am I ready to put them first and make the changes? Am I willingly to subscribe to the self-discipline required to do the hard things? To break the destructive cycles so they aren’t inherited? In every area of life, I want to set them up to succeed and I claim I’d do anything for them. Will I?
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Confession: When life gets busy or overwhelming I crawl into a lazy glutton-ness ball of sin. If gaining weight was an Olympic sport, I’d be a record breaking gold medalist. I don’t think it’s uncommon to live a life full of highs and lows—but mine is reflective in the numbers on the scale. When life is “easy” and I’m in control, I don’t eat carbs and I’m addicted to burning calories. When my calendar has too many things penciled in or control is slipping from my grasp, I turn to fried cheese, brownies and majestic drive thru windows for relief. And note, I didn’t use quotations around the word relief. It’s not a fake solution for me. It works. Food can TOTALLY redeem my day. It might create other long term issues (see previous fat butt status) but in that moment, it does seem to help.
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The danger in sin, is that even though the Bible promises it comes to steal, kill and destroy—it doesn’t always present in the form of a powerful destructive frightening tornado. Sometimes it has extra cheese or sprinkles on it.
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I’ve been reading an Esther Bible study. The story is a familiar one: pretty Jewish girl turned brave Queen of Persia. And yes, brave came. But let’s not do ourselves a disservice by forgetting that first she tried to throw clothes on the problem (Esther 4:4). Then she dismissed bravery as stupidity (4:11). And not until Mordecai shook reality into her (4:13-14) did she decide to risk everything.
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Frankly, I’d much rather be a princess in a bubble of bliss—literally and figuratively feasting on life. But whether she accepted it or not, death was just outside the castle gates. Whether I am embracing or stuff, the truth is my daughters ARE watching and learning how to cope with life from me. And just like Esther, I can choose bubble while hopeful deliverance comes from elsewhere—or I can play an active roll.

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In zero other cases would I stand by and passively hope for their best. Here is where I put love to the test.

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